Chapter 1: The Royal Dating ProfileHenry VIII sat slumped in his throne, drumming his jeweled fingers against the armrest as his advisor Thomas Cromwell approached with yet another stack of marriage proposals."Your Majesty," Cromwell began cautiously, "we've received seve...
Read MoreIt had been three years since the molten cheese eruption of Mount Doom, and life in the Shire was peaceful. Sam was mayor, Frodo was writing a cookbook called There and Snack Again, and Pippin had started a band called The Second Breakfast Club.But one day, a strange announcement appear...
Read MoreIt began, as these things often do, with a perfectly harmless mistake.Pippin was in the Shire, looking for second breakfast, when he stumbled upon an unfamiliar recipe in the back of the Green Dragon Inn’s kitchen:“The One Ring Batter — crispier than the fires of Mount Doo...
Read MoreIt was a perfect day for Quidditch. The stands were full, the air was crisp, and Lee Jordan was already narrating the match with a level of enthusiasm normally reserved for lottery winners and people who’ve just discovered free cake.“AND HERE COME THE GRYFFINDORS!” he yelled. &l...
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